Gods.Amazing.Grace.to me

  I often talk about a grateful spirit and a positive attitude. A positive attitude based on the realization of our position in Christ, and awareness of our manifold blessings. When I say 'positive and not negative', I am NOT talking about a mystical mental ascension or a 'name it and claim it gospel'.
  The week before the wreck, Brett , I and daughter Abigail went down to TX (in the worst snow/ice storms ever) to a Genesis Pure conference. Jeremy Fouts spent the weekend, using the book of Proverbs to help us to run our business. The over riding theme was to 'be positive not negative'. Not in business only, but in all of life.
  We really 'took that home'. We incorporated it into our daily life and in the raising of our children in a very new and impacting way.
  Sometimes I think as people and parents that we get 'negative' because we think we will derive a 'positive' response from it. That is as backwards as it sounds in reality.  Don't get me wrong there is a time and place for admonition and correction. But even in our discipline and admonishment our goal is not to 'condemn', it is to encourage restoration, bring about correction, improvement and godliness.
  So even though Brett has always said 'Don't be negative', we really sat the kids down and shared our vision and goal as a family and we all incorporated this attitude, more so, in that last week before the wreck. And, glad I am that we did.
   There was one day, after the wreck, after the funeral, after Christmas~ and little 5 year old Ella came to me. I was in the middle of making lunch when she said "Mommy can you help me make blankets for my babies since Charity cant help me now? Believe me I stopped what I was doing and went to the aid of my little ones need.
   Ella insisted on pink and blue fabric. That was fine but Charity is in charge of the sewing room and is the only one who knows where anything is. Discouragingly I started to go through tubs of fabric, hoping to happen upon the desired colors....Unknowingly I said out loud "Charity where is the fabric?"....Ella answered saying "Moooom, Charity cant hear you remember?".....ugg.
  On another side note, it has been years since I have attempted any sewing project without Charity. Although I have made all of our outfits for years for Scottish Dancing and un Civil War reenacting, I never 'sew alone' anymore. Honestly, she does most of the sewing I get credit for! All of this created a loathing to sew again at all.
  So as if the situation were not trying enough, Ella insisted on sewing in Charitys room. ug ug ug....
  It was a true act of self denial that few can comprehend. I had to force my body to do what it did NOT want to do. I thought it was important to do this for Ella, as we have learned that everyone grieves in their own way and this was part of her grieving.
  So, already having not slept well the night before, being in a funk at the task at hand, we found the fabric and entered into Charitys room to sew. I thought of something to send Ella for before we could begin just to give myself a minute to 'sit'. Sit I did. On Charitys bed, in Charitys room...missing her in a profound way...it was then that I spied, against the wall, one of Charitys composition books. I picked it up and flipped through it; Penmanship, English, school etc. then nothing but blank pages....til I flipped near the back of the booklet.
  I could have been NO less moved, had the Lord Himself handed me this book directly out of heaven. I was so moved and floored by what I read that I sat down again with my jaw hanging open and goosebumps galore.Not only was I impacted by what Charity wrote that I was reading, but Gods awe inspiring timing. Who am I that He should condescend to visit me in my affliction? Providing comfort to the brokenhearted? This is one of the many many reasons that I say "How Great is our God and full of loving kindness"...how could I say anything less? Be blessed.


Have you ever heard a heart break?

  Ever seen a loved one die?

  Well I know the pain your feeling, you think you cant survive.

  But I know, cause Ive been there, that God loves you still,

  and maybe what youre going through is His perfect Will.

  And God puts us through tests of faith to make us stronger for what is still to come.

  And even when we walk through storms we'll always have his love.

  And I know for certain that if God brings you to it, He can bring you through it.

  So hold on tight."