Choose this day whom you will serve...

  If you are grieving, might I suggest you look up RC Sproul Jr and listen to his series on grief? Not only does he know about it, but he teaches well. He has been a special blessing to my husband as we have walked this path.
  Choosing..Choice. Even in our sorrow we choose. Do we sorrow as one without hope? Do we despair as one who has no Consolation? Maybe we FEEL like that sometimes but only for a moment. Or do we choose to go with how we feel, for a lifetime?
  I remember about a month ago finally voicing to someone what I was 'thinking' but hadn't yet articulated..." I want to truly smile. Not a fake strained, I will always be sad smile, but a true smile of joy that comes from the heart".....And I do. Always, no. Most of the time? Yes.
  We must remember even in our sorrow that Gods word is true and our emotions are not to rule our lives. God is good. God is our Comforter. God is our Healer. He is the Great Physician. Are these things true when we have lost a loved one? Yes. If you don't FEEL like it, that does not make it any less the truth.
  Do you recall the first lesson I learned on that fateful day? To take every thought captive? We need to do that at all times. I cannot honestly think of a time when we should not be doing that.


  In light of the recent , unfathomably heartwrenching tragedy of the little Mo girl Hailey...I want to remind you of some other things I have said so much since Charitys unexpected homegoing.....it could've been so much worse. We are so blessed. I have had it easy compared to others.
  I cannot tell you what I have gone thru emotionally for this family. I see the whole country was moved by it. Im sure that I, like many others shared many a tear and missed many a meal over it. In Charitys situation I never questioned the Lord one time....but the tragedy surrounding that precious little one ...lets just say that I was not given the grace to walk through that...I still don't have it. I pray fervently that the Lord grant that dear family the amazing grace which He has in such abundance....I know He can, I pray He will.. Pray for them.
   I titled this post 'Choose this day whom you will serve"....because every day we need to do that. I mean, everyone needs to do that. Do we serve the gracious Living God or ourselves? We have that choice.
  In our family each of us has had to make that choice as well. Brett and I have consciously decided to 'kiss the rod' and praise the Lord. Machaira, bless her sweet heart has allowed the Lord to touch her life in amazing ways. She has flourished in adversity. What a testimony her life is to the amazing grace we often talk about. Life is moving along quite well for her...
  As you recall there were 3 daughters in the wreck. Many of you sweet dear friends have noticed Ive not mentioned Abby much.....Sigh. Yep. Choices.....It was not with our blessing, and it was at the persuasion of others that she has gone off to Oregon for a while. She has 'family' there and as far as we know she is ok. Now as a mother who has lost a child and takes seriously the condition of the souls of her children I have  particular concerns in this situation. My concerns are 'Is she walking with the Lord, experiencing peace, keeping good company which in turn reinforces good morals, is she fully trusting in Him to heal and comfort her...is she taking every thought captive? No, no, no, no and no. Much much prayer for her would be highly appreciated by me.
  I realize that Ive become a bit of a zealous person through this tragedy. How can I not though? I mean it is so easy ,as we do the day in and day out of being a wife, mother , teacher, etc..to forget the ULTIMATE PRIORITY. But when you've lost a child...you tend to look at life and children differently. At least I do. I cant really speak for anyone else...
  So, I would just like to encourage you to, every day, every moment~Take every thought captive, and choose this day whom, or rather, what you will serve. Your emotions which are unstable, untrustworthy and unpredictable? Or, God who is the same yesterday , today and forever and changeth not...
 Heb 13:8
 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  Do not be carried about with various and strange doctrines. For it is good that the heart be established by grace, not with foods which have not profited those who have been occupied with them....
                                                    I choose Jesus
 

Charity will dwell in the house of the Lord forever....

  I realized and posted today, that "Charity has no less days to sing Gods praise than when she first begun two months ago today"...
  I don't expect to recognize each 'month' as some sort of landmark. Really every day is. Every day that we are relearning how to move forward and to live. Every day that we point the small children to Christ and teach them to accept all things from the Fathers hand.
  What an opportunity we have, and do not take lightly, to teach the small children to 'bless the Lord' and accept His blessings as well as His refining.
  Spurgeon has some good words on grieving and mourning. I think this audience would benefit far better by reading words from the prince of preachers rather than me. So I will leave you with this:)

“We grieve, but not as those who have no hope.” The exhortation here is delicately hinted at

– that the sorrow of bereaved Christians for their Christian friends ought not to be at all like

the sorrow of unconverted persons for their ungodly relatives. We are not forbidden to

sorrow: “Jesus wept.” The gospel does not teach us to be Stoics; we ought to weep for it was

intended that the rod should be felt otherwise we could not “hear the rod, and who hath

appointed it.” If we did not feel the stroke when our friends were taken away, we should

prove ourselves worse than heathen men and publicans. God’s grace does not take away our

sensibilities, it only refines them and in some degree restrains the violence of their

expression. Still, there ought to be some difference between the sorrow of the righteous and

the sorrow of the wicked.

Again, there is another thing we must never allow to enter into our grief – the least degree of

repining. A wicked man, when he sorrows for those who are gone without hope, not

unfrequently murmurs against God. But it is far otherwise with the Christian: he meekly

bows his head, and says, “Thy will, O God, be done.” The Christian must still acknowledge

the same gracious hand of God, whether it be stretched forth to give or to take away. The

language of his faith is, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him; though he should take all

away, yet will I not repine.” I do not say that all Christian persons are able to maintain such a

cheerful submission of spirit. I only say that they ought, and that such is the tendency of the

Christian religion; and if they had more of the Spirit of God within their hearts that would be

their habitual disposition. We may sorrow, beloved, but not with repining. There must be

resignation mixed with the regret. There must be the yielding up, even with grateful

acquiescence, that which God asks for, seeing we believe that he doth but take what is his

own.
  To read Spurgeons full sermon, you can find it here; http://teachingresources1.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/0304-christian-grief-chs.pdf

Joy Cometh in the Morning

   I am so grateful for Charitys disposition:) She has one of those personalities where, when she walks in the room there is energy and she always has a good attitude and cheerful disposition. That is just not something that you can readily teach a child. So we can take no credit for it. It is one of the most missed things about her in our home. If there is one thing I would like to leave people with in regards to our sweet, missed daughter, it is this. 
  It is a paper we found of her writing. Just a few weeks before the wreck. I just have to say that it is so HER. So let me introduce you to my daughter Charity with her own words.


  9-17-2013
Just my thoughts
The Bible says "A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken" (proverbs 15:13)
  You never understand this verse until you have had both a happy and cheerful heart and a broken and sorrowful spirit, but I really think that once you know what a broken spirit feels like, you get a little stronger and it takes a lot more to break your spirit  again. It really hurts but eventually every wound will heal over. Eventually it will turn into a scar. Just because something broke your spirit doesn't mean you re not strong, you show your strength by healing and moving on but sometimes that takes time.  Being broken doesn't mean your weak and you just give up. You trust God to bring  you through it even if it hurts because He has a plan and a reason for everything. Even if we never know the reason or reasons. So I move on because I refuse to be chained to sadness. I will be free in Jesus.


  Such a precious writing of hers. She truly was a child after mine own heart:)
 


Psalm 30:4-5
Sing praises to the Lord, O you his saints,
    and give thanks to his holy name.^[b]
5 For his anger is but for a moment,
    and his favor is for a lifetime.^[c]
Weeping may tarry for the night,
    but joy comes with the morning

Gods.Amazing.Grace.to me

  I often talk about a grateful spirit and a positive attitude. A positive attitude based on the realization of our position in Christ, and awareness of our manifold blessings. When I say 'positive and not negative', I am NOT talking about a mystical mental ascension or a 'name it and claim it gospel'.
  The week before the wreck, Brett , I and daughter Abigail went down to TX (in the worst snow/ice storms ever) to a Genesis Pure conference. Jeremy Fouts spent the weekend, using the book of Proverbs to help us to run our business. The over riding theme was to 'be positive not negative'. Not in business only, but in all of life.
  We really 'took that home'. We incorporated it into our daily life and in the raising of our children in a very new and impacting way.
  Sometimes I think as people and parents that we get 'negative' because we think we will derive a 'positive' response from it. That is as backwards as it sounds in reality.  Don't get me wrong there is a time and place for admonition and correction. But even in our discipline and admonishment our goal is not to 'condemn', it is to encourage restoration, bring about correction, improvement and godliness.
  So even though Brett has always said 'Don't be negative', we really sat the kids down and shared our vision and goal as a family and we all incorporated this attitude, more so, in that last week before the wreck. And, glad I am that we did.
   There was one day, after the wreck, after the funeral, after Christmas~ and little 5 year old Ella came to me. I was in the middle of making lunch when she said "Mommy can you help me make blankets for my babies since Charity cant help me now? Believe me I stopped what I was doing and went to the aid of my little ones need.
   Ella insisted on pink and blue fabric. That was fine but Charity is in charge of the sewing room and is the only one who knows where anything is. Discouragingly I started to go through tubs of fabric, hoping to happen upon the desired colors....Unknowingly I said out loud "Charity where is the fabric?"....Ella answered saying "Moooom, Charity cant hear you remember?".....ugg.
  On another side note, it has been years since I have attempted any sewing project without Charity. Although I have made all of our outfits for years for Scottish Dancing and un Civil War reenacting, I never 'sew alone' anymore. Honestly, she does most of the sewing I get credit for! All of this created a loathing to sew again at all.
  So as if the situation were not trying enough, Ella insisted on sewing in Charitys room. ug ug ug....
  It was a true act of self denial that few can comprehend. I had to force my body to do what it did NOT want to do. I thought it was important to do this for Ella, as we have learned that everyone grieves in their own way and this was part of her grieving.
  So, already having not slept well the night before, being in a funk at the task at hand, we found the fabric and entered into Charitys room to sew. I thought of something to send Ella for before we could begin just to give myself a minute to 'sit'. Sit I did. On Charitys bed, in Charitys room...missing her in a profound way...it was then that I spied, against the wall, one of Charitys composition books. I picked it up and flipped through it; Penmanship, English, school etc. then nothing but blank pages....til I flipped near the back of the booklet.
  I could have been NO less moved, had the Lord Himself handed me this book directly out of heaven. I was so moved and floored by what I read that I sat down again with my jaw hanging open and goosebumps galore.Not only was I impacted by what Charity wrote that I was reading, but Gods awe inspiring timing. Who am I that He should condescend to visit me in my affliction? Providing comfort to the brokenhearted? This is one of the many many reasons that I say "How Great is our God and full of loving kindness"...how could I say anything less? Be blessed.


Have you ever heard a heart break?

  Ever seen a loved one die?

  Well I know the pain your feeling, you think you cant survive.

  But I know, cause Ive been there, that God loves you still,

  and maybe what youre going through is His perfect Will.

  And God puts us through tests of faith to make us stronger for what is still to come.

  And even when we walk through storms we'll always have his love.

  And I know for certain that if God brings you to it, He can bring you through it.

  So hold on tight."

 

Thou art with me

  I have already mentioned the night before the funeral -that we were having some difficulties and tension at the task our family was facing, writing up the order of service. I mentioned that at one point we all 'dispersed', and my son Malachi went upstairs to Charitys room and brought down some things he had found.
  I  had been up there several times the previous days looking for...something. Anything.
  I expect many parents would dread the thought of finding 'hidden writings' of their 16 year old daughter. In reality, we have 11 children and 'all children are not created equally'....but I was looking for something anyways. Anything, I didn't know what really..I found nothing. For the record though I would only expect to find good things coming from Charitys hand but I could not have hoped for something so  precious and timely.
  The fact that Malachi went directly to her room and found 'anything' was amazing at all, since I had looked so hard and long for naught. But more amazing was what he found. He found her hand written testimony, that was written a years ago.  Can you imagine finding a sweeter more comforting writing on the eve of your childs funeral? It was truly a gift. I post it here with her misspellings in all of their glory;) Be blessed!
 

My Testamony

When I was about 9 years old I relised that I wasent saved. The years befor that, I thought that I was a Christian becaus I was raised in a Christian family and my parents were Christians. Well for a long time I thought I would go to heaven because I lived in a Christian family. But afte I moved to Missouri and my dad wa a pastor I started learning more about what Jesus did for me. I told my dad that I wasent  saved. he asked me if I wanted to get saved and be baptized. I said yes. But relly I didn't know what getting saved reley ment. I just thought   getting saved ment you just had to say some prayer and then you were saved, a Christian, and going to heaven but I was wrong. My dad asked me if I wanted to pray out loud with   him and I said no becaus I was shy and embarressed

 but I know know relly why. I guess I was shy beause I get that way around my dad sometimes even thought I have known him my whole life. That is11 years. Anyways I just thought I was saved for a year that I wasent. Well after a year of thinking what wasent true I kept thinking about it and thinking about it also studeing and learning what it reley ment I found it hard to play, eat and sleep without thinking about it.Then one night I just couldn't sleep. I cried alone before going to see my mom and talk to her about it weeks and weeks I had been putting it off and waiting for the right time. Finally I forced myself to talk to mom about it. The only reason I had to force myself is becaus I didn't want my parents to see my cry. Well my dad was in the shower until my mom got him to pray with me. My mom told me what getting saved rely ment and about having faith in Christ to take me home when I die . I am assured that I am saved and going to heavin.

 .

The Service in Pictures

  Here are pictures of some of dear Charity's family and friends.
  Not all of those who are dear are pictured here. First there is Caleb Royer who took all of these pictures and his family who provided us with precious photos. Our son Adam and daughter in law Jill who made a beautiful disc of pictures to music for the service. There is the Hamilton family who did all of the behind the scenes work of making the service flow beautifully, The Sutton family~Sara who selflessly played the piano for most of the service, the Hall and the Hope family who have blessed us so much and continue to do so.
  As well there are those dear people who were only able to be with us in spirit but were 'with' us indeed. To every one of you who helped to make this day beautiful for us, thank you.

So grateful for each one of you!

Our Machaira
 

Sweet Abigail

Our family

Reading poem sent by Pastor Rogers

Donna bravely reading the Christmas poem

Our Bri Bri

Mr Pelis

Grandpa Crowl

Raymond Purdom, SCD instructor and friend

Daniel Haummesser

Mr Clingman reading his beautiful prayer

Congressman Akin our dearly loved friend

My bestie Sara Pelis with sweet Jamie and our son Adam

Andrew Hurt

Sheila Wright my 'best singer!"

Dear Mrs East

Billy Altman ~family;)

Joe James

Billy Pelis, Dallas East

What a most wonderful man I am married to. Husband, father, preist and patriot.

Charity Mae Adams, our darling girl
You are eternal in the heavens, forever
in the arms of Grace and one day soon
I  will get to see your face:)