Peace in the Valley

What an honor to write our reflections of the Celebration of Life of Charity Adams. Thank you, Brett and Dana, for allowing us to be your voice and share ours.

December  13, 2013…I remember scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and seeing urgent prayer requests from my sister in faith, Dana, and immediately sending up pleas on her behalf. Not knowing at the time, all I could say was “Father, be with them. Give them strength…” It would be hours before I would see another one from her but the next would stop me in my tracks…”one of our children is with the Lord”…at this point I went in to “do’er” mode…see, I have to be doing something. In times of crisis, I go into overdrive. I started sending up those “S.O.S.” prayers, calling Brett and Dana (couldn’t get through) and then calling my husband, Michael, only to find out that he couldn’t take my phone call…all I was left to do was pray…really pray, for peace, for mercy, for grace, and for comfort for my dear friends.

After awhile I got antsy (I’m telling ya, I’m a “do’er”) and headed to my husband’s store, still not knowing fully what is going on, other than the Adam’s had lost one of their precious girls. It wasn’t much longer after leaving that I finally figured out the big question…who? It was sweet Charity. I got to my husband’s office and shared with him the heartbreak…and we prayed. I came home and about the time I walked in the door Michael had called me to tell me to figure out how to start a memorial fund. Let me tell ya, I’ve raised money for several things through the years, starting a memorial fund for your friend’s daughter isn’t something you ever want to think about though. Where to start? How do you do it so that many can donate and the family can get the money quickly? Thankfully I stumbled upon GoFundMe and we were off and running.

I want to take the time right now to publicly thank each and every one of you who sacrificially gave.  This “do’er” was very blessed by seeing the action of others. You all quickly became the hands and feet of Christ in those dark hours. James 2:14-18 talks about our faith without works:

¹⁴ What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? ¹⁵ If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, ¹⁶ and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? ¹⁷ Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

¹⁸ But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.

You all demonstrated your faith in blessing the Adam’s family. No gift went unnoticed and each was received with a prayer of thanksgiving and for the giver. Again, thank you.

During the next week I remained in constant contact with Brett and Dana…again, being a “do’er” we guarded the GoFundMe account, answered emails regarding that, and eventually, walking a precious daddy through the process of setting up payment information to pay for a Celebration of Life…again…something you just can’t prepare for.

And about that Celebration of Life…what a Celebration it was! We arrived at the Adam’s home early. What a joy it was to see those sweet faces!  I’m so thankful that we arrived early and had time to just visit. I think we all needed that. Awhile after our arrival the Akins arrived and again, it was just time to reflect and visit. When it was close to the time to leave Brett gathered all of us together to just chat. To see a father’s love and hear his peace, even in a trial, what a testimony. After prayer it was the appointed time to leave for the church…again, something that came with an element of dread. But oh, I was wrong. It was just beginning, only, what we were about to witness was a work of the Lord.

When we got to the church it was just a small group, mostly family and close friends of the Adam’s. Upon Brett’s request we waited in the foyer while the family went to meet Charity and for alone time. As they walked in together, arm in arm, they weren’t weeping but rather, were rejoicing.  That was all this mama’s heart could take.  My mind flooded with questions…how would I react? Would my testimony be the same? Would I blame our Father, or would I rejoice as well? Out of reaction I grabbed my babies’ hands (who are 9 and 7) a little bit harder and held them a bit closer….

As the Adam’s walked in together Brett led his family in a hymn, and in my mind now, it’ll forever be “Charity’s Song” but really, the name is “Be Thou My Vision”. The lyrics are below.

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best thought by day or by night
Waking or sleeping Thy presence my light

Be thou my wisdom and Thou my true word
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord
Thou my great Father, I, Thy true son
Thou in me dwelling and I with Thee one

Riches I heed not nor man's empty praise
Thou mine inheritance now and always
Thou and thou only first in my heart
High King of heaven my treasure Thou are

High King of heaven my victory won
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's Sun
Heart of my own heart whatever befall
Still be my vision O Ruler of all.

This was the underlying theme of the whole Celebration…Charity’s vision was no fulfilled, she had met her treasure, her victory was won! What a testimony of faith and the perfect way to honor their daughter. Music is a reflection of the soul, and this particular song reflects Charity’s soul.

Once the family had their time together Brett invited those of us that were waiting into the church to join them. Again, the dread was gone and was replaced with an awe factor. How were they doing this? They were traveling such a dark place but with a smile on their faces and rejoicing on their lips. That’s what faith and trust in Jesus for our Salvation can do for you and they were reflecting that faith in their actions at that very moment.

As we "viewed the body" (as her physical form was just the container that held her soul) I remember thinking, she doesn't look like herself and in that moment I was personally grateful for the scarf that was given to the family. I remember Charity as a bright and happy girl, sweet 16 with lots of life...that's the memory I wanted to hang onto. And that scarf...how appropriate. Pure and white, simple, yet elegant. A veil really, but just enough to protect her and yet a reflection of how we see the world. As humans, in our physical body, we don't see things clearly, there's something blocking our vision...our sinful life. As 1 Corinthians 13:12 says "for we now see through a glass, darkly, but then face to face: now I know in part, but then shall I know even as I am known." Charity's physical body had its veil removed when her soul entered eternity with Jesus and now, she's face to face, and that veil is removed! That white, sheer piece of fabric is so poignant and fitting for a sweet 16 Believer in Jesus Christ!

It' wasn't too long before people started to arrive. At one point I personally left the church and the line was out the door! Good thing services were at the church...the Lord knew and providentially worked out the finer details for the family because once again, He knew! When the appointed time came people bringing in chairs because the sanctuary was full! My husband said this about the sheer volume of peopel: "I am amazed by the support and love from people of all walks of life and different social groups. Only a life well lived allows for that!" I tend to agree with Mr. Hope on that one!

As the services started the "Person of Charity" was about to be revealed, as my dear Michael put it. During our work with Brett and Dana we interacted with the older girls more and Charity normally took care of the "littles" (including mine) so that us, I guess "olders", could work and focus on the campaign. Because of this, my interaction with Charity was somewhat limited. I walked away from that service knowing though who Charity was...she was a friend, a beacon, sunshine, joy...she reflected Christ and His love through her actions and deeds. Her "walk" matched her "talk". This was demonstrated through many, many testimonies, poems, songs and her own words. Her personal testimony, one that she had written out herself, was the assurance that her family needed, and was the guiding focus of the whole service... "I am assured that I am saved and going to heaven"...and all I can is; SING WITH ME HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!"...Out of the mouth of babes, right? No! More like out of the mouth of a Believer! Michael adds here "The communication of the gospel was comforting. Crystal clear. The fact that her father was able to stand and preach and lead services...what an example of fatherly love to other fathers. I'm not sure that I could have done what Brett did." (PS...I have no doubt that Michael would do the same...)

Worship, preaching, corporate worship, instrumental music, testimonies, prayer, poems and weeping in joy...what a Celebration of Life! A Celebration of Charity. A Celebration of Love! You could feel the Holy Spirit in the services and it was truly a worship service of our Father and Christ in memory of Charity Adams, not a memorial for Charity with a little prayer added in for good measure. 

As I personally reflect back on that day I am so thankful for the testimony of Brett and Dana. Since then I've had the opportunity to share my thoughts and feelings with Dana (and Brett) but let's just say, this mama and daddy's heart has been changed. Something that they both said about the whole situation was that they wanted to squeeze everything out of the loss of their precious daughter for God's glory. Our family has been blessed because of their testimony. The way we love our children and our desire to teach them and lead them has changed. We are only given a moment in time, a blink really, to spend with them. So much knowledge and real-life skills to pour in those little noggins in such a little time, but even more important, their spiritual life and teaching them a life of faith. Charity had those life skills, her presence is very missed in her home because of it, but the faith...that is taught through action and living out your own faith in front of your children. That teaching was evident in her life at her Celebration of LOVE. I commend Brett and Dana. I hurt for Brett and Dana and the entire family. I thank them sharing Charity with us. But, I rejoice with Brett and Dana as well in the knowing that Charity is not hurting, she's not in pain and she was spared from so many struggles we face on this sinful earth...she is rejoicing. There is peace in the valley, and that peace comes in the knowing. 

If you don't have that peace in the knowing, email Brett and Dana, or even myself. We would love to share with you how to have the same faith that Charity had...the same faith that carried the Adams family through their darkest of days. There is peace in the knowing, and it's the same peace that Charity had!