We have no continuing city here...................

  I was challenged today on FB to post a verse. Thankfully it was not a favorite verse as that changes.
  Different passages of scripture have differing impacts on me depending which season of life I am in.
  Loss. Greif. Such difficult and painful things. Our mind spends many an hour, day, year trying to 'grasp' it all. What it 'means', how it changes things, and that irritating deep hope that its not real and things will go back to how they were.
  The verse I chose to post was Hebrews 13:14...but since it is impossible for me to choose only one I had to add 15 as well.
14 For here we have no continuing city, but we seek the one to come. 15 Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name.   
  And that verse of course brings to mind this one;
2 Peter 3:13
But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells......


  We really have no continuing city here on earth. There is no continuing anything in this world save for The Lord, His word and the souls of men. The earth shall pass away, our loved ones pass away, every day is new and different. Nothing is the same here. Nothings stays the same or is continuing.
  When we are in pain and the pain ceases we are glad things do not remain the same. If we are in bliss and our life is rudely interrupted by sorrow and loss then we want things to have 'remained the same'.......go figure. We even change whether or not we want things to remain the same.
  Having so many littles ones to minister to , I am always looking for gems of truth in Gods word to encourage them. Teach them at a young age to learn to see Gods hand in all things, learn now to trust that He is Sovereign...so that when the storms of life come....and they will come...they already have the foundation to stand strong when their very soul is faint with sadness. Here is one thing I remind them of~
  Yes Charity died. That is horribly sad for us. It is not sad for Charity as she is in eternal joy. As well though, she is no longer 'dead'. She is alive in heaven. The wreck, the trauma, the passing...its over. I have spent many a moment, when images (real or imagined) threaten me, reminding myself...IT IS OVER, IT IS OVER, IT IS OVER....


 A couple phrases my son Anthony and I came up with when he lost his newborn son were: "You are eternal in the heavens , forever in the arms of grace". Our departed ones live. Yes they live. Here we merely see as through a glass and see only a shadow of the things to come.

1 Corinthians 13:12

¹² For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

 Might I suggest that those in heaven are 'really' living, much more than we are.

  I do not care for the term 'Rest in Peace'......Knowing in small part, the magnificence of the Lord and His abounding creativity and love and working in our lives, I would expect that more than resting, our loved ones are rejoicing.


 1 Cor 2:9 But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.


  And what do you think of this one? Isaiah 65:17 For, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind.


  I do not claim to be any type of theologian. But I know that Gods word is sufficient to meet our every need.


Hebrews 4:15 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.
  Hebrews 2:17
For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people.
Hebrews 2:18
Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

Hebrews 7:25-26 25 Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them. 26 For such an high priest became us, who is holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinners, and made higher than the heavens.
 
  I always recall a story my husband tells. When he was younger, a pastor was teaching on the book of Genesis. He gave the account of Eves temptation and said how that relationship was broken forever...it would NEVER BE THE SAME. At the time my husband was young in the Lord and left the meeting on that note "That relationship between God and man would never be the same'. He was grieved all week and was in despair that it could never be gotten back. When he went the next week the pastor reminded folks that the relationship would NEVER BE THE SAME......BUT.... It would become better. We lost walking in the cool of the garden with the Lord but now we will reign with Him forevermore in perfection and righteousness. Never the same no. But better. That is how it is for our loved ones who are departed. Their lives are now, BETTER. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Lest we forget

   What? We will NEVER forget! We will ALWAYS remember. FOREVER!

  Always and forever should really only be words used to describe eternity. They really have no place in our ever changing world,amen?

   I'm becoming aware of another aspect of this journey. People who have walked this road before must already know about it, though I've never heard it mentioned.

  We so love our " loved ones". How especially dear do our departed ones become to us!! We will always remember them and we will never forget them!....

  True- to some extent. But what happens when the poignant memories begin to fade? When the things they ALWAYS said and did become something we are reminded of instead of being freshly on our mind? For those of us who have been years without our loved one, does the face fade a bit and the memory of the voice a bit unclear?

  If this isn't happening yet, I believe that grieving ones carry a real FEAR that it will BEGIN to happen. What do we do with that?

  The same thing we do with all thought and feelings that threaten to drown us in the depths if dispair- take every thought captive, and think right thoughts. I have some thoughts to encourage you that perhaps you've not considered . And feel free to comment what you think! I read all of the very few comments I do get!!

  We forget that when our loved one, in our case Charity, went to Heaven, we didn't lose her. We know where she is at. And though I understand and appreciate your sweet words that you are sorry for our loss, We are sorry for our WAIT. Yes our wait. We are sorry that we have to WAIT to see Char Char. We're sorry we can't be enjoying her ourselves this very minute- yet thankful that she is enjoying her every minute in our wait.

  And though we were blessed to make 16 years of precious memories with our girl, we may be tempted to forget- but our time with her is not OVER. It is merely delayed. ( I find it ironic that I began this post a few hours ago- and this morning lil Ella woke up and said she didn't remember what Charity looks like)

  So let us remember that we have all of eternity to look forward to spending with our redeemed loved ones. We will yet enjoy time and experiences in the LIFE to come. So if you, like we, have a loved one who had departed to that country that IS our own- I'm not sorry for your loss but I too am sorry for your wait. Let patience have its perfect work dear ones. May the Zlord strengthens us in our journey.

  

We interrupt the trials of life-

  To promote a good friend and one of his great books!  It is not altogether inconsistent with our journey either. The Bunker family and the entire community in TX has been a huge blessing and encouragement to us in our grief.

  If you don't know Michael Bunker may we suggest you discover this fine author? You will be thrilled and challenged by all of his writings! 

  Today were promoting this-

  Go to amazon and buy a copy today! The official launch of the book bomb!

The Tittle Family at Reformationkidz

  Last night was not one for sleeping for many. Tornadoes tore up Ok, Joplin and Arkansas.
  I was just sure our roof was going to fly. We were in a tornado watch for hours.
  I got on FB last night to check on my friends the Millsaps there and was about to chat with my friend Kerry. I saw she was on and figured they were ok as the twisters were over in Arkansas.
  Little did I know that I was very wrong.
  Kerry has been such a faithful friend. Her daughter was going to go to Scotland and we were going to 'travel' with her. Turned out she wasn't able to go but I have been blessed by the friendship Ive made with Kerry. From what I see she knows a lot of people and has a lot of friends!
  Last night, I learned, they lost their entire home, The Father and two of the daughters. Heartbreaking. Kerry and the other 6 children are in the hospital.
  I ve not talked to her and know nothing first hand. I relate this from their friends post. I relate it to you only in the hopes that you will put them on your prayer list.
  I was just going through emails back and forth with Kerry and she has been praying for us since she heard of Charity and the wreck. Now it is our turn to pray for her. She says "I remember to pray for you at 3 am when the little guy gets up!". 
  Im so heartbroken that she has need of my prayers for such a journey as this. She truly has the harder road. Oh my friends you cannot fathom the heartache and sorrow and sickening feeling those first few days unless the Lord has already given you this similar path to walk.
  And now my poor dear friend doesn't have her husband to walk with her down this dark valley. Mercy Lord, much mercy please!!
  Prayer is what will help. At some point money will help. Please please commit to pray faithfully for this dear sweet saint.
  Im praying that His amazing grace will cover her and comfort her as only He can. All the faith and comfort do not remove the pain and agony. Please pray and leave this dear family on your prayer list for a very very long time.

Just an idea

  I'm always trying to minister to my littles. They are free to cry and miss and be sad about, Charity- but Im always looking for ways to offer them hope. 

  Tonight we had " strawberry shortcake". You cannot eat, see or talk about that dessert in this house without thinking of Charity! Just can't do it!!

  So tonight as we made " angel food cake" for our " strawberry shortcake dessert", the kids began to chatter about Charity and miss her so. 

  I then said," Well, I guess we're going to have to call this CHARITY FOOD CAKE"

  Little wide eyes and three littles ask,"Why?"  Because I explained, "This dessert reminds us of Charity and she lives with the angels now!"  I don't know about you all- but they thought that was a grand idea:)

Some of those "Things".....

 I mentioned in the previous post about 'Some of the many facets of things one goes thru'...In our case, the journey of our daughtes homegoing...I will touch on some of those.
  First of all, regardless of our status, situation or condition there are certain things that we as believers must always be doing. One of which is "Take every thought captive". As well, we always need to be guarding against ungodly attitudes and behaviours. Now, grieving and having  bad days and being broken hearted do not constitute an ungodly behaviour. What I am noticing is the propensity for natural grieving to potentially lead to ungodly attitudes and behaviours. That is what I am focused on.
  Did I mention,being broken hearted, grieving, crying and feeling utterly broken are not ungodly attitudes?The Lord Jesus had some of those very experiences.( The tomb of Lazarus, in the garden at Gethsemane, on the cross of Calvary)  But what are we doing with them and where do they lead? If, while experiencing these hard moments, we fail to take every thought captive it could lead to:
Ungratefulness
Bondage
Idolatry
Bitterness
Hopelessness
  Lets look at each one. Ungratefulness. Ive said it a hundred times and I will say it again. So many have had it so much worse. There are worse experiences on this earth and I am grateful that we were spared additional hardship in our sweet girls passing. If you 'cant imagine' a situation being worse, talk to your neighbor or watch the news for 5 minutes and you will see what I mean.
  Bondage.One of the things that I constantly deal with, battle and try to keep in balance are, Charity things. When a child dies, suddenly to you and everyone else, their every item becomes sacred. So as I go thru things and clean and do laundry or pick up the yard, if something was Charitys, it suddenly becomes important. I was so worn out and exaughsted the other day with all of the things of Charitys that I had 'set aside' that I said outloud "IS EVERYTHING SACRED"~. Because where does that lead? Every child is important. So is everything that ever belonged to any of our 11 children that walked the earth sacred? Really? I don't know about you but that is much to much of an overwhelming task for me. How do we balance that and see it clearly in light of eternity? "Thinking right thoughts and taking every thought captive'. First of all I think of the song by Robin Mark "When its all been said and done, all my treasures will mean nothing"...it is true. Charitys trinkets mean nothing to her in light of her eternity and the life she shares now with God. Should they mean overly much to me? Overly no. Some yes. There is nothing wrong with the fact that I hold aside here baby comforter and her pink zebra stripe pillow....etc ... However when I have hadtendencies  to 'lock up' her room and keep it sterile and everyone out, well I don't see that as being healthy.
  What do I mean by Idolatry? Well, if Im putting more emphasis on my daughter who is in heaven, than my children who still walk the earth..that seems to be a type of idolatry. Why in part do I miss my girl so much? Because it is going to be a wait before I can see her again. I long to hug or hold or talk to her sometimes. Nothing wrong with that but.....I still have six children at home at the moment who I can hug hold and talk to. If Im spending unusual amounts of time missing Charity, Im losing those same precious moments with those whom I can still be with. Its not wrong to miss and long for one who has gone to heaven. Excessive longing at the espense of the ones who still walk among us is, I believe unhealthy and something that should be guarded against.
  What is the definition of Bitterness? The old Noah Webster dictionary is my favorite so forgive me if I don't entertain the modern definition of the word. This is what I mean by the word;

n.	1.	The quality or state of being bitter, sharp, or acrid, in either a literal or figurative sense; implacableness; resentfulness; severity; keenness of reproach or sarcasm; deep distress, grief, or vexation of mind. The lip that curls with bitterness. - Percival. I will complain in the bitterness of my soul. - Job vii. 11.
	2.	A state of extreme impiety or enmity to God. Thou art in the gall of bitterness, and in the bond of iniquity. - Acts viii. 23.
	3.	Dangerous error, or schism, tending to draw persons to apostasy. Looking diligently, . . . lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you.

  As difficult as it may be to remember, God is good all of the time. Regardless of our journey we do not hold the market on grief or hardship or tragedy.
  Im not exactly sure why I haven't struggled with bitterness (yet?) but I can easily see how one could fall into it. We don't mean to! We are hurting and heartbroken and sad, and it is understandable that we are having a difficult time. However, bitterness is a dangerous cancer to let spread. It will ruin our peace now, and our presence tomorrow. It will not soon be rooted out so it is best to not allow it to grow in the first place. 
  Hopelessness. This is one that must be fought diligently and normally on a daily basis. As you go throughout your day minding your own business, it never fails that out of the blue the realization will come to you that you are 'Never going to see Charity walk through these halls again.". (take every thought captive remember) 'True but the halls she walks now are the ones we always intended for her to walk'. 
  How about this one....On May 1 is Charitys birthday. We as a family are going to gather together and celebrate her life. Sad that we focus more on our loved ones moments of passing when there were 16 years of life and celebration in our case. We are very blessed indeed. So here is a hopeless question  "Is she 16 still or 17?" I really hope none of the littles will ask that question as I do not have the answer. What do we really celebrate when it is a birthdate anyways? How did a simple day become so complicated? Simple, because we live in a fallen world and our tendency is to not think biblically. We choose rather to be controlled by our hopelessly sad emotions than by what is true. So what are some of the true things I like to remind my self about?;
  Charity is living out the eternity we always prayed she would, with Jesus in heaven. Admittedly sooner than we would have chosen believe me. As well, as I sit here sad and lonely for her presence I love to remember that she is LIVING in heaven. She is not in the grave. She is not 'Resting in Peace'. She is living, rejoicing, celebrating the Lamb, enjoying the fellowship of millions of believers who have gone on before. The bible says she is walking on streets of gold and the Lord had, in advance of here arrival, prepared a place for her. A mansion nonetheless. She is neither lonely nor hurting or sad, she has the mind of Christ and is experiencing joy everlasting. Those are the thoughts that I remind myself of.
  I will still keep many of Charitys things and will always keep her memory alive in our family. But by the grace of God may I put more energy into loving and caring for and fellowshipping with these young charges that I am so blessed to still have an impact on. And they an impact on me:)